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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/28526010">The Depths of the Mines</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mice/pseuds/Mice'>Mice</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Sea Change [22]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>World of Warcraft</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>A little angst, Canon Divergence, Eastern Kingdoms tour, M/M, Road Trip, past unrequited shaw/vancleef</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2021-01-03</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-01-05</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-10 21:01:14</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Mature</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>3</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>11,384</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/28526010</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mice/pseuds/Mice</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Mathias and Flynn start out on their tour of the Eastern Kingdoms. First stop: the Deadmines. Mathias is not looking forward to the memories that brings.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Flynn Fairwind/Mathias Shaw</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Sea Change [22]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/1875685</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>65</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>62</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. The Return</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>beta love as always to JaguarMirror and a tip of the hat to Laura_Maz for help with the title.</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Rell handed Mathias the last of the reports he'd requested. "I couldn't find anything else in the files," he said. They'd spent the better part of a week combing the records in several locations to determine the necessary inventory of places and items that Mathias would have to inspect. The Spymaster nodded as he took the stack from him.</p><p>"I'll have a look. I think we've been pretty thorough in our inventory so far. The updates for the city of Stormwind are done, though, and Flynn gets home tomorrow. I keep hoping that Anduin will take my security issues regarding the Keep seriously, but he's adamant about allowing open access to the library, the gardens, and the audience chamber." He looked stressed, but Rell couldn't blame him.</p><p>"The gardens are beautiful," Rell agreed, sitting in the chair in front of Mathias's desk, "but they really are a security nightmare." They both hoped to get the king to listen to reason on the issue, but if Mathias hadn't been able to budge him, Rell doubted anything he'd have to say would move the young man either. "On the other hand, a Mage could easily portal someone in almost anywhere. The entire place would have to be blanketed in anti-magic fields to make a real difference." And that would interfere more than it would assist, unfortunately.</p><p>Mathias sighed. He flipped through the files Rell had given him, rubbing at his temple with one hand as though he had a headache. "This is going to take months," he muttered. He looked up at Rell. "Are you sure you're ready to take everything on when I leave?"</p><p>Rell nodded. "I am. Shiv will be working as my second while you're away and, as the advisory council has finally been formed, there should be more support than you've had, historically. Things will be different when you get back."</p><p>"I can't help but wondering if a council will make it easier or harder to run the organization." He ran a thumb between his eyebrows and closed his eyes for a moment.</p><p>Rell rested an elbow on the desk. "It's hard to tell at this point. The council looks solid as far as the appointments go, but whether having a committee to deal with major issues is going to interfere with the day to day running of the agency will be impossible to tell until it's been in operation for a while. Frankly, if it becomes too much of a problem, we can always disband it and try something else. None of this is set in stone at this point." </p><p>Mathias sorted the files into piles, restless. "I need to make an itinerary so that you'll have a rough idea of where we intend to be, and in what order."</p><p>"Are you well?" Rell asked. </p><p>Mathias looked up from his sorting with a guilty start. "Just a mild headache," he murmured. "I'm fine."</p><p>"You don't really want to make this inspection trip, do you?"</p><p>He shook his head. "It's not a thing I can refuse to do. I'm the only person currently qualified to deal with some of these things, and Anduin's arranged safe passage through Horde territory for me and Flynn. He can't just drop that and ask for it to be granted to someone else."</p><p>"That's true," Rell said. "What in particular is bothering you about the project? You seem far more reluctant about this than I've seen you before. You can't believe that Flynn wouldn't go with you?"</p><p>"It's not that." Mathias sighed and rested his chin in one hand. </p><p>"What, then?"</p><p>Mathias hesitated for several moments. "Some of this touches on some… painful personal history. It can't be neglected, but it's not likely to be easy, either."</p><p>Rell thought for a moment. "The VanCleef situation?" Edwin VanCleef had been Mathias's student and he knew that the man still carried a great weight of guilt over what had happened to Queen Tiffin.</p><p>Mathias nodded, not meeting Rell's eyes. "Yes," he murmured. "Among other things."</p><p>"You couldn't have known. None of us did. Onyxia was--"</p><p>"I know. It doesn't make it any better, even all these years later. The stain on SI:7's reputation, on <i>mine</i>..." He left the sentence dangling in an aching silence.</p><p>"We all bear some of that responsibility, Mathias. Not discovering her until after the damage was done is on all of our heads. As to VanCleef himself, you couldn't know he'd turn on the Alliance like that, even after what happened with the Stonemasons."</p><p>"I thought I knew him," Mathias said, layers of burdens in his eyes. "I thought we were friends."</p><p>That wasn't a thing Mathias Shaw would ever say lightly and Rell suddenly understood that it was much more personal than just the death of Queen Tiffin enabled by a man he'd trained. Until Flynn Fairwind came along, Mathias had very few friends. Amber Kearnen had been among them. To misjudge someone he'd imagined a friend must have been agonizing. Rell nodded. "That would only have made everything worse. I'm sorry."</p><p>"Ever since, I've second-guessed almost everything. What am I missing? Am I careful enough? Should I check it again? Too often, my errors have cost lives." He sighed and shook his head. "It's all in the past. It shouldn't still bother me this much."</p><p>"Yet it does."</p><p>"It does."</p><p>Rell hadn't imagined that Mathias carried so much self-doubt. Nothing about the way he presented himself would have suggested it. "You've always done what was necessary, the entire time I've known you. Everything I've ever seen you do has been in the best interests of the Alliance, Mathias."</p><p>"I'd always imagined that to be the case, but it hasn't turned out that way. There are times I wonder what would have happened if I'd never taken VanCleef on as an apprentice."</p><p>"We've all seen how well trying to turn back time worked," Rell said, gesturing at the map of Draenor on Mathias's wall. "What's done is done. We can only move forward."</p><p>"I know." Mathias buried his face in his hands. "I need some coffee. Maybe that'll help the headache."</p><p>*** </p><p>Having Mathias in his arms again on the Stormwind docks was always a relief. The voyage hadn't been too long, nor the weather too bad, but Flynn still looked forward to that first kiss and the warmth of his husband folded into his embrace. It wasn't until after that he saw the man looked like he hadn't been sleeping. The dark arcs under his eyes were always there, but they were deeper now and he had a vaguely haunted look. Flynn cupped Mathias's jaw in one hand and kissed him again, soft and slow. "What's wrong?"</p><p>Mathias buried his face in Flynn's shoulder and held on. "Nothing, really," he said, his voice muffled. "We can talk when we get home." He took a slow, deep breath. "I missed you."</p><p>Flynn nuzzled into his hair. "I missed you, too, love. Let's go drop the papers off at the Harbormaster's office and we can head home." Mathias nodded as Flynn's fingers twined in his hair. He seemed a little less stressed when Flynn finally let go.</p><p>They walked to the Harbormaster's and rode Lucky back to their neighborhood. After she'd been stabled and they got home, Flynn dropped his things next to the sofa. They could wait a few minutes, and Mathias obviously needed to talk. "So what happened?" he asked.</p><p>"There's a new mission," Mathias said.</p><p>His heart sank. "How long will you be gone?" That had to be the issue. Flynn had just got home and Mathias had probably put the mission off so that they could be together for at least one night before he left.</p><p>"Months."</p><p>Flynn closed his eyes, his chest aching. He sighed and dropped onto the sofa. He might expect to be at sea for a month or more from time to time but 'months'?</p><p>"It's… This is going to be dangerous, Flynn. Some of it's extremely so. I may not come back. But… you could come with me if you wanted to."</p><p>Flynn looked up at him. "If I <i>wanted</i> to? <i>Of course</i> I want to! Why would you ever imagine I'd let you leave me behind? What will we be doing?" Sparks could captain the <i>Arva</i> while he was gone. That was the First Mate's job, after all. "When will we be back?"</p><p>Mathias relaxed slightly, but only slightly, and sat with him. "A minimum of six months, but some of what we'll be doing… Flynn, as I told you, this could potentially be life-threatening." Indefinite, then. "Neither of us might return."</p><p>Flynn shrugged. "All the better that I'm there with you, then, right? I am <i>not</i> letting you walk into potential deathtraps alone. I promised I'd always bring you home. So, what are we doing and when do we leave?" He'd meant his vow with everything in him. He wasn't going to let Mathias just walk away like that.</p><p>"Within the week," Mathias said, still uneasy. "I have to do an inventory of… artifacts, places of power, and persons of interest throughout the Eastern Kingdoms, from Stranglethorn to Quel'Danas."</p><p>Flynn's eyes widened. "No wonder you think it'll take six months or so. We can't just hop on the <i>Arva</i> and deal with it like that? Would that take less time?"</p><p>Mathias shook his head. "The vast majority of this isn't on the coast. We'll have to see if we can get into the ruins of Lordaeron, for example. Light only knows if that'll be possible, even now. The entire region was poisoned by Sylvanas."</p><p>"I heard about that." Flynn still had a hard time believing it, but he'd seen some pretty lunatic things in his time. "Why would you even try?"</p><p>"Because there are things down there better left buried, and we need to be sure they're still there."</p><p>"But, dead as it is, that's Horde territory. They're not going to just let us wander in for a peek." The last time they'd tried, Mathias had been taken from him and spent time in a Zandalari prison. He reached out and took his husband's hand.</p><p>Mathias draped Flynn's arm around him and leaned into him. Flynn held him as they talked, his chin resting on Mathias's head. "Anduin has arranged safe passage for us. We'll be acting as ambassadors for the Alliance when we're in Horde territory, and we're not to be harmed or hindered on our mission."</p><p>"Himself wants <i>me</i> to be an ambassador?" Flynn chuckled. "That's just asking for trouble."</p><p>Mathias's arms wrapped around his and pressed them to his body. "It's a technicality. It grants us a great deal of protection that we wouldn't have otherwise. I'll show you Anduin's and Baine's letters later."</p><p>"Is the mission the only thing that's bothering you? Did anything happen while I was gone?"</p><p>Mathias shook his head. "No, just the mission. I'm not sure whether it would bother me more for you to go or to stay."</p><p>That was at least a little bit understandable. Going into something where one or both of them might not survive wasn't a pleasant thought. "Far as I'm concerned," Flynn said, "it's better that we both go. That way, if anything happens to us, at least we know we did everything we could. We'll be together at the end. It's really all I can ask out of life at this point, you know?"</p><p>There was a haunted look in Mathias's eyes at that, but he nodded. "It makes sense. I'd rather be with you if anything were to go wrong. You're the person I trust the most in this world. There's no one I'd rather have with me for this."</p><p>"So where are we going first? I assume you've got a list."</p><p>"A lengthy one," Mathias said, with a nod. He turned in Flynn's arms and held him close. "The first place we'll be going is Westfall. It's… probably best to get it over with quickly. We'll need horses, supplies. I've been working on outfitting for us already."</p><p>"It's nearby then? What bothers you about the place?"</p><p>Mathias sighed. "It's a constant reminder of my failures -- my weaknesses."</p><p>Flynn thought for a moment as he held him. He ran his fingers through his husband's hair. "Is this that Edwin bloke again?" Mathias nodded, silent. "I wish you could lay him to rest, love. He's been dead for years."</p><p>"Maybe…" Mathias hesitated. "Maybe this'll be an opportunity to do it. I don't know."</p><p>"You've got so many ghosts haunting you. You're not weak, Mathias. Everybody falls for the wrong person sometimes."</p><p>"Not everyone's 'wrong person' was a traitor to the crown." The bitterness in his voice could have melted steel.</p><p>"That's true. And that's still not your fault. You couldn't control what he did. That dragon you talked about was the one that caused pretty much all of it. It seems to me that you've long since made up for any kind of responsibility you might have had."</p><p>"We should start packing," Mathias said, slipping from Flynn's arms. He seemed resigned. Flynn knew this wouldn't be the end of it.</p><p>***</p><p>Flynn had complained when Mathias explained that they'd be traveling by horseback for the journey. "I'll get saddle sores," he grumbled. "Why shouldn't we fly? At least it'd be faster."</p><p>"Because it's a lot harder to use a flying mount to haul our gear," Mathias told him. "And we'll attract less attention in some of the places I need to go if we look like a couple of ordinary travelers. Sure, you'll be uncomfortable for a while, but you'll get used to it. You didn't start out with callouses from the ship's lines, after all. They built up over time."</p><p>With a shrug, Flynn said, "Okay, that's true. I guess I'm going to experience life like a mainlander for a change, then."</p><p>"It's not so bad. There's a lot of countryside you can't really appreciate from the air, anyway. I know you've wanted to do some exploring."</p><p>Flynn smiled. "I suppose we might happen across some treasure. You can't do that if you're above the trees."</p><p>"A bit less likely, yes," Mathias chuckled. "What makes you think we'll have time for a treasure hunt?"</p><p>"Well, Himself <i>did</i> say we could take our time." He rode beside Mathias, dressed in his usual greatcoat and clothing. Mathias was in nondescript adventurer's leather armor. He wasn't going to wear his uniform for most of the trip, but he wasn't going to leave himself vulnerable, either.</p><p>"Don't treasure hunts require a map? And an actual treasure?" Flynn just grinned at him. "Have you ever actually <i>found</i> a treasure before?"</p><p>Flynn laughed, loud and amused. "Well, you, of course!" Mathias sighed and shook his head, smiling, wondering what he'd done to deserve the man riding beside him. "Come on, you left yourself wide open for that one."</p><p>"I'm not what most people would consider any sort of treasure," he said.</p><p>Flynn's gaze on him was warm and adoring. "It's a good thing that I'm not most people, then, isn't it?"</p><p>Mathias's smile broadened into a grin. "It is." </p><p>It was a long day's ride across Elwynn Forest to the edge of Westfall. They kept to the roads, where they passed Alliance patrols now and then - short columns of mounted guards in uniform. For all that the territory appeared peaceful, there were still bandits and gnolls to be concerned with, and merchants had to be watchful. The murlocs, at least, kept to the lakes and streams.</p><p>Mathias occasionally caught glimpses of bandits around the edges of the forest, but he and Flynn were well-enough armed and dressed plainly enough to discourage any interest. He'd send a note to the guard commander for the region with information about the locations when they stopped for the night at the border of Elwynn and Westfall. Regular patrols were helpful, but knowing where the bandits kept watch would be even more useful; they'd hear the patrols coming and could avoid them easily, but solitary travelers might be marked for ambush. Flynn might regard the whole thing as a travel holiday, but Mathias knew that this was work, and reporting on his observations was the entire point of the journey.</p><p>Flynn's cheerful chatter filled the hours and kept Mathias's mind off the duties -- and the reminder of his failure -- that awaited him at Sentinel Hill and Moonbrook. With his husband's voice in his ears, he didn't have to make conversation. He was relieved when Flynn didn't push for his participation but simply filled the time with half-heard stories and the occasional shanty. He was thankful that Flynn didn't seem to mind his silence. </p><p>They stopped for the night at a little inn just on the Westfall side of the river, a small settlement having grown there after the Cataclysm. After the Defias had been largely driven out and the region had begun to rebuild. It wasn't prosperous, but the area was less devastated than it had been. Farms and orchards were slowly reestablishing themselves on the land that the Defias had nearly destroyed. Life was hard here, and the consequences of the Cataclysm were still in evidence.</p><p>Their horses and pack mule stabled for the night, they got a room for Flynn and Mathias Fairwind. Rell and Renzik knew he'd be traveling under that name, to avoid some of the notice that might be drawn by Master Shaw. There were times and places for that -- this didn't need to be one of them. "Where you headed?" The innkeeper asked. </p><p>"South," Mathias said, his voice flat and uninterested. Flynn had been warned in advance not to give away anything about who they were or where they were going without consulting him first during their trip. Mathias's tone was enough to discourage further inquiry. With the plain, obviously worn armor, even the bright color of his hair wasn't enough to draw too much attention here. He'd considered changing it before the mission. A little magic would have made it easy enough, but he didn't relish the idea of spending months in disguise.</p><p>The innkeep's response was a quiet grunt of assent, and he signed them in without further questions. "Dinner's ready from seven to ten. Come to the bar for your plate."</p><p>"What do you have tonight?" Flynn asked.</p><p>"Westfall stew. Got bread and cheese as well." And that was the end of that.</p><p>They settled into their little room, stowing their packs and the gear from the mule. Mathias shed part of his armor while Flynn tossed his coat onto one of the hooks on the wall and flopped down on his face on the bed. "My bottom is sore," he grumbled. "Never spent an entire bloody day in the saddle before."</p><p>"You'll get used to it." Mathias set his pauldrons and cuirass on one of the chairs. There was no wardrobe, and no table in the tiny room. </p><p>"I feel like a walking bruise." Flynn eyed him over his shoulder. "You could kiss it better," he said, smirking.</p><p>Mathias chuckled. "I won't say it isn't tempting, but the inn's small and the walls are thin. Not sure I want an audience."</p><p>Flynn shook his head. "They'd not see a thing!"</p><p>He raised an eyebrow. "I have every reason to believe they'd hear it, though." Flynn wasn't as noisy as he'd have imagined most of the time, but he wasn't silent. The sounds he made when he was lost in his pleasure stirred Mathias to his core. No, this wasn't the place for it. "That's not something I want to share with the world." He shucked his boots and sat on the bed with Flynn. He rested one hand low on Flynn's back. "I can do a little work on the muscles, though. It's not going to be very pleasant, but it should feel better when I'm done."</p><p>"Any excuse to have your hands on me, love."</p><p>"You may live to regret that." Mathias stood again and finished changing into his street clothes. Flynn watched him with appreciative eyes. He rummaged in his bag and brought out a small bottle of anchor weed liniment.</p><p>Flynn leaned up on his elbows. "Wait, you really meant it?"</p><p>Mathias shrugged, uncorking the bottle. "Of course I meant it. You have to get back in the saddle tomorrow. And you'll have to keep getting back in the saddle almost every day until we're done with this mission."</p><p>"And here I was hoping…"</p><p>"You're not going to want me anywhere near your ass in about three days. It's going to be like this but worse until you start getting used to it. At least this can ease some of the pain. If we stay on top of it, you should be all right."</p><p>Flynn shifted uneasily. "That sounds… no fun at all."</p><p>"It isn't. Drop your trousers."</p><p>"You're such a romantic."</p><p>"Seriously. If you don't deal with it before it gets bad, it can end up as abscesses."</p><p>Flynn rolled over onto his side, alarmed. "What?"</p><p>It was Mathias's turn to smirk now. "Just taking care of my favorite ass. Strip."</p><p>Flynn glowered. "Are you referring to my anatomy, or to me, generally?"</p><p>"Take your pick."</p><p>With a grumble, Flynn righted himself and shed his clothes then flopped back down on the bed, his head pillowed on his arms. Mathias knelt over his thighs and poured out some of the liniment on his husband's skin, which was a little more pink than he'd prefer to see it under these circumstances. He should have looked into riding pants for Flynn before they left Stormwind, but he'd likely be able to arrange something with Gryan Stoutmantle when they got to Sentinel Hill in a couple of days. They'd be spending a few nights there, anyway. It would give Flynn a much-needed reprieve before things got too bad.</p><p>He got to work on Flynn's buttocks and thighs and Flynn yelped. "Breathe," Mathias told him. "It's easier if you take slow, steady, deep breaths."</p><p>"That hurts!" </p><p>He should have expected the vaguely injured whine in Flynn's voice. "I told you it wouldn't be pleasant, but it'll feel better when I'm done." </p><p>"See if you get laid tonight," Flynn grumbled; he took a deep shuddering breath and tried to relax.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Ghosts</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>"Westfall is Alliance territory, at least technically," Mathias said as they rode, "but there are still resentments and pockets of Defias sympathy out here." The man looked out over rolling fields of early spring mud and struggling sprouts, his eyes sharp and alert. A strange energy vortex in the distance drew Flynn's gaze and he regarded it uneasily, watching what looked like huge boulders and probably entire tree trunks swirling violently in mid-air. He didn't really want to get too close. You could see the thing from… a really long distance away.</p>
<p>"That's the group this Edwin bloke started, yeah?" Flynn shifted uncomfortably in the saddle but didn't complain. It had felt better in the morning but as the day wore on, the soreness was coming back. He wondered if there was anything he could do for it to keep it from getting too bad.</p>
<p>Mathias nodded. "After the defeat of his daughter, Vanessa VanCleef, its power was broken. Most of what was left moved south into Stranglethorn or scattered through the forests of Elwynn and Darkshire, but there are still those who'd happily greet Spymaster Shaw with poison in his coffee or a dagger in the back."</p>
<p>"Which is why you're traveling through what's supposed to be Alliance territory under my name." It was a bit odd to be traveling as the Fairwinds, Flynn and Mathias, but he supposed it was a lot easier than actual assumed names where they might slip and end up with an actual dagger in someone's back. His husband's life was complicated so, by extension, so was Flynn's. He didn't exactly mind. His own life had always been more than a bit of a mess.</p>
<p>"Most of the sympathisers wouldn't know me by sight these days, but they'd certainly recognize my uniform." He shook his head. "And my name."</p>
<p>"I'd rather you were safe, love." He'd always rather his love was safe.</p>
<p>Mathias sighed and shook his head. "'Safe' is relative. Westfall has seen hard times and poverty since the Gurubashi War. They've been assailed from all sides and, even now, there's a large transient population. With the constant strife of wars and calamity, Stormwind's resources were stretched too thin to really deal with the problems here. It's come back to bite us more than once. The people here are often closed and suspicious of strangers."</p>
<p>"Gurubashi War? Never heard of that one." There had been so bloody many wars. Hard to keep track of them all, even the ones with numbers.</p>
<p>"It was before my time. Stormwind was nearly destroyed by the jungle trolls. The city was saved by Medivh, who was Khadgar's mentor."</p>
<p>"I've heard of Khadgar, at least," Flynn said. "You mainlanders are complicated."</p>
<p>Mathias shrugged. "Kul Tiras's history is complicated, too, what with the drust and all."</p>
<p>"Aye, there's that. Your lot seem to have got the worst of it all, though."</p>
<p>Mathias looked over at him and reached out. Flynn urged his horse a little closer and took his hand for a moment. "Still not a contest, Flynn. It is what it is, whether it's us or our people. Everyone on Azeroth has been through terrible things." </p>
<p>Flynn nodded. "I suppose you're right." He watched the strange column of whirling energy on the horizon. "What is that thing, anyway?" He pointed.</p>
<p>Mathias looked. "A reminder of the Cataclysm. It used to be part of the Alexston farm. There's nothing there, now." His eyes tightened. "An old friend of mine was born there."</p>
<p>Flynn watched him; Mathias closed his eyes for a moment, overcome by a sadness that he didn't bother to conceal for once. "What happened to your friend?" Something had happened to him, because his husband had said more than once that the few friends he had were all dead.</p>
<p>"Baros was an architect," he said. "He oversaw the reconstruction of Stormwind." He drew a slow breath and let it out. "He and Edwin were responsible for… so much of the city as it is today. He had an incredible talent; the man was a brilliant artist."</p>
<p>Flynn thought for a moment. "Did he… was he one of those Defias blokes, too?"</p>
<p>Mathias shook his head. "No." He said nothing further for several minutes, the sound of their horses' hooves quiet in the soft earth of the road. Flynn waited. There had to be more, but Mathias looked like he needed to figure out how to talk about it. Finally, he spoke again. "He and Edwin had… profound disagreements about how to handle the situation with the Stonemasons. He left the guild before things came to a head." Mathias shook his head. "It's a long, complicated story, Flynn."</p>
<p>Flynn shrugged. "Seems to me we've got six months on the road ahead of us. You can tell me or not, but we've got time. Complicated stories are usually interesting, at least."</p>
<p>Mathias looked over at him, his eyes distant for a moment, then nodded. "When the Alliance sent an expeditionary force to Draenor, Baros was approached to design and construct the garrison for the commander there. He died some time later, when the garrison was invaded. Amber had been stationed there when it happened." And there was that tight expression in his eyes again. "She would write to me sometimes, about what was happening. Not intelligence reports, just letters. About life in the garrison, about Draenor. That was how I first learned about his fate. Seems he'd had a romantic interest in a worgen Lieutenant there, but neither of them ever said anything." He sighed. "Tragic, really. He was a good man."</p>
<p>"I'm sorry. Seems like Draenor was a disaster for everyone. Johnny's Admiral died there, too."</p>
<p>Mathias nodded. "The idea was to go back in time and prevent the orc invasions entirely, but it only served to make things worse." He sighed. "There are moments when I wonder what our lives would have been like without the Dark Portal." He huffed a humorless chuckle. "Medivh was responsible for that, too."</p>
<p>"So, saved Stormwind and fucked over Azeroth. Sounds like a great bloke." Mages. Why did it have to be mages?</p>
<p>"Like so many other people, he was complicated."</p>
<p>"Blood or gold," Flynn muttered. "Everything has a cost."</p>
<p>"It does."</p>
<p>The weather turned to a cold drizzle that Flynn weathered as he always did. Mathias was wearing his warm under-layer, so he wasn't chilled to the bone when they stopped for lunch. Since he wasn't wearing the ridiculous oversized pauldrons, he was actually wearing his heavy greatcoat for once, so he didn't look like a drowned rat when they made their way into the tiny road-house. Westfall stew was the menu again. Flynn suspected it would be a theme here. It seemed to involve whatever was available, stewed. He knew from experience how variable that sort of thing could be, and what it meant about what wasn't there.</p>
<p>They warmed themselves by the fire for a little while after they ate as they let their coats dry. It would be better to not just go right back out into the rain with wet gear. Flynn's was a little more proof against the weather than Mathias's, but both of them had been sensibly dressed for it. The few people in the place watched them suspiciously but no one approached them.</p>
<p>"I see what you mean about Westfall," Flynn told him, when his smile and his usual easy charm didn't defuse the tension in the room at all. "Kind of like being in Dampwick but, at least there, I knew what to do to get folks to loosen up a bit. These mainlanders don't seem open to much in the way of a good tale. Hard times don't have to make hard people but, too often, they do."</p>
<p>They got on the road again as soon as they were dry enough and rode on into the evening. There was no inn nearby when it got dark enough that they'd needed to stop for the night, but at least the miserable drizzle had let up. They pitched a tent under a tree in the driest place they could find, which was still pretty soggy. Neither of them could find any dry firewood.</p>
<p>They sheltered their animals as best they could near the tent, giving them food and water. Given the amount of the stuff that had come down from the sky over the course of the day, it was annoying that there wasn't a lot of it generally available for them to drink. Mathias had suggested getting several skins full at the road-house and Flynn was grateful for the man's foresight. He didn't like the idea of their poor animals having to drink from mud puddles. Flynn tossed blankets over them as Mathias stored their things under an oilskin tarp that gave some shelter to the entry to their tent.</p>
<p>"It's a good thing the weather's not so cold anymore," Flynn muttered. "This would be really miserable."</p>
<p>"Gather some wood," Mathias said, rolling out their bedroll as he stood at the tent's opening.</p>
<p>"It's all wet. We couldn't find anything dry, remember?"</p>
<p>Mathias nodded without looking at him. "I have a magespark lighter. It'll start up anything that isn't still sitting in a puddle."</p>
<p>"Oh, well. Why didn't you say so before?" The prospect of a fire and some hot food encouraged him and he scurried around collecting enough kindling and fallen branches to last them the night.</p>
<p>"Because it's usually easier just to use matches. The thing does need recharging every so often, though."</p>
<p>Flynn stacked the wood under the tarp and started to lay the fire far enough from the tent that they'd not have to worry about burning anything down. Mathias joined him once their things were laid out within the dry shelter of their tent and set the magespark to the wood. In moments, the fire was burning merrily in the thickening darkness, warm against Flynn's skin. They made coffee before they cooked; it was all relatively civilized for a couple of blokes at the edge of a field under the trees.</p>
<p>"I'll take the first watch tonight," Mathias said, as Flynn cooked. </p>
<p>He just nodded. Watchstanding was a thing you did. With only two of them in questionable territory, one or the other would have to be awake. Flynn wished they could sleep together, but it wouldn't be safe here. There were probably places where it would be fine, but Westfall so far didn't seem to have anywhere that was sheltered enough to be unseen from the roads unless they'd gone well out of their way, and the people had left him a bit on edge. It wasn't as bad as Drustvar, mind, but bad enough in its own way.</p>
<p>After they ate, Flynn settled in for a few hours of sleep, while Mathias haunted the door of the tent, tense and silent. Flynn's sleep was restless until Mathias woke him for the second watch. He sat in the darkness, the fire low, and listened to the unfamiliar night sounds of the countryside. Now and then he'd peer back into the tent and watch Mathias's still form, breathing softly in their bedroll.</p>
<p>Westfall bothered Mathias. Flynn knew it was about Edwin and the Defias. His husband had talked about it before, several times, though there was a lot that had gone unsaid. They both had things like that; things that were hard for them, things they barely spoke of, things that had left scars. He hoped they'd finish with this soon and move on to territories less fraught. Maybe it was good to get this over with early on instead of letting it wait for the end of their trip. Some wounds just festered. Those were the ones that could kill you.</p>
<p>When dawn came, Flynn got the fire up again and made some coffee, then woke Mathias. "Here, love." He handed the man a mug as he sat and rubbed his eyes. "Weather looks a little better today. Might even be sunny when the clouds break."</p>
<p>Mathias yawned and took the mug from him, sipping gratefully. "Nothing notable overnight, I take it?"</p>
<p>Flynn shook his head. "I'd have woken you. How long to Sentinel Hill? Will we make it there today?"</p>
<p>"Mid-afternoon, probably. We can rest there for a day or two. I'll be making a short side trip to Moonbrook and the Deadmines."</p>
<p>"You?"</p>
<p>Mathias hesitated. "Some things I just… need to do alone."</p>
<p>Wrestle with his ghosts, Flynn thought. He nodded. "Right, then. If you need anything--"</p>
<p>"I know. And thank you."</p>
<p>Flynn went over and sat behind him, wrapping his arms around him and resting his chin on Mathias's shoulder. He was still warm and soft from sleep. "I just want to help if I can."</p>
<p>"How are you feeling after all day in the saddle yesterday?"</p>
<p>Because of course Mathias would avoid talking about it. Flynn nuzzled his ear. "Still sore, but that ridiculously painful massage you gave me did help a bit."</p>
<p>"We'll get you some proper riding pants in Sentinel Hill. A little padding in the right places will help."</p>
<p>"Are you saying I have a bony ass?"</p>
<p>Mathias chuckled. "I'm saying your clothes are made for sailing, not months in the saddle."</p>
<p>"Ah. Fair enough. You, on the other hand, have a really lovely ass. Have I mentioned that recently?" He nibbled Mathias's ear and the man shivered slightly.</p>
<p>"This is neither the time nor the place to get frisky, scoundrel. We should get some breakfast and break camp. There'll be proper rooms in Sentinel Hill."</p>
<p>"So that's where we should get frisky, aye?"</p>
<p>Mathias laughed, a quiet sound, and turned to press a kiss to Flynn's mouth. "It'll be safer and more comfortable there, yes."</p>
<p>"Good to know," Flynn said, and kissed him back.</p>
<p>*** </p>
<p>Sentinel Hill was a welcome sight as they rode through the gate into the town square. The place had grown since last Mathias had visited, and the fortifications were in much better shape. The troops here were better armed and armored than in the past, as well, and the rough camps filled with the homeless and transient were either gone or they'd moved further from the town itself. They stabled their animals and got a room at the inn before they headed up toward the tower, where Marshal Stoutmantle's office was located. They were questioned at the doors, as he wasn't in uniform, but when Mathias identified himself the young guards stepped away and one of them escorted them in.</p>
<p>Stoutmantle was talking to several of his people in front of a map on the wall when they got to the door. He turned as they entered, irritated. "I told you I wasn't to be--" The soldier stopped abruptly. "Master Shaw?" </p>
<p>"Marshal." He nodded to the man.</p>
<p>"We didn't know you were coming, sir. I'd have--"</p>
<p>He crossed his arms over his chest. "It would hardly have been a surprise inspection if you'd known I was coming." As always with these things.</p>
<p>"Ah. Of course sir." He nodded to Flynn. "Is this your aide?"</p>
<p>Mathias shook his head, irritated. "My husband, Captain Flynn Fairwind."</p>
<p>Stoutmantle's eyes widened. "My apologies sir, Captain." He turned to his people. "You're all dismissed. Arken, send in some coffee." Stoutmantle looked to Mathias. "Have you had lunch? I can have something brought up for you."</p>
<p>"That'd be fantastic, mate," Flynn said, "thanks."</p>
<p>"Send up something to eat, as well." The soldiers scurried out and Stoutmantle gestured to the chairs by his desk. "What can I do for you, Master Shaw? Have there been problematic reports from the area?"</p>
<p>"No. There's no trouble, Marshal. I've been assigned to a periodic reassessment of the security of the various artifacts and important items in the Eastern Kingdoms. Several are stored here, as you know. I would appreciate hearing about the status of Westfall and her townships while we're at it, however, with particular attention to Moonbrook and the Deadmines."</p>
<p>Stoutmantle nodded, collected again after being put off balance by Mathias's appearance and his error regarding Flynn. "Of course! I can take you to the vault now, or we can wait until you've had something to eat."</p>
<p>"After food," Flynn said, shooting a look at Mathias that brooked no argument. They'd skipped lunch on the road in favor of getting to Sentinel Hill more quickly. The weather had cleared, but not as much as either of them had initially hoped. Mathias's first instinct had been to take care of business before anything else, but Flynn was right. He needed to eat.</p>
<p>"I can give you your report over lunch," Stoutmantle said, "and we can examine the vault contents afterwards." Flynn's expression softened and he smiled at Mathias. </p>
<p>They talked with the Marshal until the food arrived, and Mathias realized he was ravenous. Flynn, it seemed, knew him well enough to understand that he could be so single minded he'd forget to eat in favor of working, and that the habit wasn't doing him any favors. He was grateful for the reminder, as he felt less irritable afterward.</p>
<p>"The Deadmines are deserted now," Stoutmantle told him, as they finished their meal. "They were played out years ago; even the kobolds aren't interested. Moonbrook has, to a certain extent, moved on, but there are still significant resentments there. During the war with the Legion, the majority of the most competent Defias thieves went to the Broken Shore to fight. None of them came back. Once the power of the Defias was broken, and VanCleef's daughter was driven out, it was harder for the treasonous elements to maintain their hold. That said, much of Westfall is still poverty-stricken, and we both know how that tends to affect people's attitudes toward Stormwind's authority."</p>
<p>Flynn, for a change, listened more than he spoke. That was slightly unnerving. It was something of a relief when he finally did ask a question. "How long have things been like that," he asked.</p>
<p>Stoutmantle looked at Flynn. "Decades, in one form or another. I've been struggling to keep a lid on it pretty much my entire life. People here have felt they've been left dangling since the Gurubashi Wars, before the current king was even born. What happened wasn't his fault. Wasn't even his father's really. Stormwind can't afford to send much support our way. Our fields are still fallow, all this time later, after the Defias salted the soil. Not a lot grows and what does, struggles."</p>
<p>"Then why don't people blame the Defias for that?" Flynn's eyes were sharp and attentive.</p>
<p>The Marshal sighed. "Some do. Others feel like it's both sides' fault and that nobody can be trusted. You hear a lot of folks saying Stormwind and the Defias are equally bad, and equally to blame for the state of things. Not enough are willing to think it through. There are those who think the Defias were freedom fighters, champions of the people. They're the ones we have to be most cautious of."</p>
<p>"Is there anywhere to stay in Moonbrook?" Mathias finished his coffee and set the mug down.</p>
<p>Stoutmantle nodded. "Yes, but I'd not really recommend it. Nobody will admit to actively supporting the Defias there, but I suspect you'd be recognized. Not that you can't handle anything that might happen, but no reason to ask for trouble. The gnolls are an additional hazard."</p>
<p>Flynn looked at Mathias. "Out and back, love. If you don't want me going with you, don't stay the night there."</p>
<p>Mathias hesitated for a moment. "Just the mines," he said. "I need to see for myself."</p>
<p>"I know you wanted to see what's in the vault," Stoutmantle said, "but why the mines? Nothing's down there now but the ship."</p>
<p>"A ship?" Flynn asked, confused. "In a mine?" He shook his head. "And you don't want me to go see it with you?" Mathias sighed and rested his face in his palm. "Another time, maybe," Flynn said.</p>
<p>"Another time, maybe," Mathias murmured. Stoutmantle's eyes shifted between them but he said nothing about their exchange.</p>
<p>"If you're ready, Master Shaw, Captain." Stoutmantle stood and gestured to the door. They followed him as he led the way. The vault was on one of the upper floors of the tower, still well guarded despite the years. The Marshal opened the heavy wood and iron door with a key from the ring on his belt and ushered them inside. Along the walls were racks of armor, and weapons in display cases. Stoutmantle pointed them out and Flynn seemed uncertain whether to be amused or impressed by the rolling pin that had belonged to the ship's murloc cook.</p>
<p>"Strange thing to keep hold of here," he said.</p>
<p>"They're symbols, really," Stoutmantle answered. He gestured to a pair of swords in a glass display case. "These, for instance. They're the weapons Edwin VanCleef was wielding when he was taken down by the people I sent in. This one," he pointed to one, "is called the Cruel Barb. If someone were to take up these weapons, they might resurrect the Brotherhood, and I can't even begin to tell you how much trouble that would be."</p>
<p>Mathias nodded in agreement, but didn't see what he'd actually been looking for. "Where are the daggers?" he asked.</p>
<p>The Marshal paused. "In the safe." He led them to one of the walls and pushed on a stone. A small part of the wall's facade slid back, revealing a heavy safe. He spun the combination and opened it. Stepping back, he let Mathias look inside.</p>
<p>With one hesitant hand, Mathias reached in and took the daggers out of the case where they were stored. Flynn stood at his shoulder, watching. Seeing them left an ache in his chest as sharp as it had been all those years ago. He'd hoped time would diminish some of it, but perhaps what wasn't examined never healed.</p>
<p>Flynn's voice was soft. "They look like--"</p>
<p>"I know." Of course they did. He turned the blades in his hand, the red cloth that dangled from their pommels now grown thin and delicate with age and lack of care. There were small spatters of blood still staining it. He set them back inside the case and closed the safe. "Thank you," he said, looking at Stoutmantle. "Everything seems in order." He was glad he'd not worn his uniform and that he had other daggers more obviously on display today.</p>
<p>"Are we done here, for the moment?" Stoutmantle asked.</p>
<p>Mathias nodded. "I may need to consult some documents over the next day or so, but tomorrow I'll be off to Moonbrook and the Deadmines. I need to start on my report tonight. I appreciate your cooperation, Marshal."</p>
<p>"Of course, Spymaster. Anything you require, you have only to ask. Will the accommodations at the inn for you and the Captain be sufficient?" There was a trace of anxiety on Stoutmantle's brow.</p>
<p>"It looked perfectly adequate when we dropped our packs, Marshal. I'll want a gryphon tomorrow morning for the trip to Moonbrook. I should be back by late afternoon."</p>
<p>Flynn watched him, silent, as they made their way back to the inn.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. Into the Depths</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Mathias said little after they left the tower. There wasn't much he felt that he <i>could</i> say. Flynn had questions, of course, but Mathias was in no mood to answer them. Not yet, anyway. He'd talk, in time, but not today. Instead, he drafted his report and sketched idly in the notebook he'd brought for his recordkeeping, trying not to think.</p>
<p>They were both restless that night, Mathias because his mind was mired in the past. Flynn, at least presumably, because Mathias's restlessness disturbed him. He'd tried to be comforting, and held Mathias through much of the night. It helped, but not enough. Every time he closed his eyes, he saw Edwin. As he had been. As he might have been if he were still alive, his black hair touched with grey. Memories devoured him like starving demons.</p>
<p>Eventually, Mathias slept.</p>
<p>When he woke the next morning, he was still exhausted. After breakfast, as he prepared to depart, Flynn drew him into a rough embrace. "At least let me go to Moonbrook with you, would you?"</p>
<p>"I need to do this alone." He held Flynn, his face buried against his husband's neck.</p>
<p>Flynn's fingers laced through his hair, his other hand on Mathias's back. "I'm not asking to go into the mine with you."</p>
<p>Mathias looked up at him. "Not yet, but you will."</p>
<p>Flynn rested his forehead against his. "Well, I'll admit I do want to see the ship, but I also know I'm not going to be able to talk you out of going in alone. Too many ghosts, I think. Of the metaphorical type. I mean if there are actual ghosts, you really ought to take me in to watch your back."</p>
<p>"Only metaphorical ones." Mathias closed his eyes, feeling the warmth of Flynn's skin on his. "I don't need you to hold my hand for this."</p>
<p>"Maybe not, but I'd like to be there for you when you come out. Even if you don't want to talk just yet. Just… let me be there, just in case." Flynn pressed a kiss to his forehead. "Seriously, love, what would you do if you were me? Really?"</p>
<p>Mathias sighed. "Probably the same thing you're doing."</p>
<p>"So, will you let me come?" It was the hesitant hope in Flynn's voice that decided him.</p>
<p>"Yes. You can come. To Moonbrook, but not into the mine. I may be a few hours down there, just so you know."</p>
<p>Flynn's arm tightened around him, his fingers stroking through Mathias's hair. "Then I'll keep watch outside. Make sure nobody follows you down, so you won't be disturbed."</p>
<p>It was a good idea, and one that he hadn't considered in his need to deal with his past. He'd assumed that he would have enough presence of mind to be aware of his surroundings, but Flynn as an extra layer of security lifted a weight from his shoulders. "Thank you." He took Flynn's face in his hands and kissed him gently. "Thank you for looking out for me." Flynn cared. He loved Mathias and sometimes that still felt nothing short of miraculous.</p>
<p>Moonbrook was, as Stoutmantle said, a tense place. Some of the glances he got suggested he was recognized, though no one said anything. Flynn got a few looks as well, simply for being with him, and not the sort of appreciative regard that Mathias was used to seeing turned his husband's way. Once they were out of sight of any of the residents, he said, "It's probably best if we stealth out of here. There's no need for any of them to know where we're going. It'll be safer for you that way as well. I don't want them to know where you're waiting."</p>
<p>Flynn shrugged. "Always felt the best way to go somewhere you didn't belong was to walk in like you owned the place but, yeah, this looks like sneaking out of town is probably a really good idea. Unfriendly bunch, I gotta say."</p>
<p>"Over the years I've learned that the best way to avoid trouble is to never be seen at all," he said. "And I don't want to attract any more attention than we've already done." </p>
<p>"I'll do my best," Flynn said. Mathias was sure he would, but Flynn's 'best' at not being noticed in a crowd tended to leave something to be desired.</p>
<p>They stealthed and headed for the building where the mine access was. Mathias took one of the lanterns from the wall and lit it, giving them a small ring of light to see by. He gave one to Flynn as well. They walked down together but he stopped before they got to the entrance of the area that used to be the headquarters of the Defias. It was dark around them, but for the halo of dim light, and eerily quiet. The only sound was the occasion drip of water seeping out of the ceiling and falling into shallow puddles on the floor. "Wait here," Mathias told him, even his whisper seeming loud in the darkness. </p>
<p>"Hard to tell where here even is," Flynn answered, but he settled himself in the dark.</p>
<p>Mathias brushed a hand over the man's shoulder as he left him, and made his way deeper into the tunnels. He followed the turns of them, through caverns that smelled of rust and old machinery, the hulking metal ruins of harvesters long since destroyed lying where they had fallen. The near silence was unnerving. He didn't expect to meet anyone down here. As Stoutmantle had said, the place appeared to have been deserted for a long time now.</p>
<p>He was in no hurry. The ghosts of his past had waited this long for him to confront them, there was no need for him to rush. He examined each room carefully for any sign of recent use, or anything hidden, but there was nothing. </p>
<p>Eventually, he came to the massive cavern that held the ship. He held up the lantern and between that and the dim light that entered through the ruined sea-gate, he could make out the vague outline of her bulk. In the distance, he could hear the cries of seagulls. The only scent here was rotting wood, sea life at low tide, and salt water.</p>
<p>Mathias moved carefully among the planks of the dock. He could still see the burns in some places where the cannons had been fired to discourage the advance of the people he'd sent in after Vanessa years ago. And, so many years before that, where Stoutmantle had hired a group of adventurers to take Edwin's head.</p>
<p>It had ended up on his desk, in a bloodstained sack.</p>
<p>Part of him felt like he should have seen it as a job well done, and not nearly soon enough, but the rest of him ached for what had been lost. An apprentice. A friendship. A man he thought he'd known.</p>
<p>His heart.</p>
<p>He moved forward, placing his feet carefully. In the dim light, it was hard to tell where the rot had weakened the wood enough to collapse under him. As he drew closer to the ship, he could see that she listed a little. She had probably sunk enough to be resting on the bottom now, only partly afloat. He doubted the vessel could be salvaged, but it probably would be useless to burn the damned thing, as well, though he had a vivid vision of doing so, if only for a moment.</p>
<p>The gangplank creaked ominously as he boarded the ruined vessel. Bones and broken weapons lay scattered around the main deck.</p>
<p>It had happened here. </p>
<p>Mathias stood for long, still moments, just staring, before he set the lantern down on the deck. If he closed his eyes and focused, he could almost hear the sounds of battle and the roar of the cannons echoing from the past.</p>
<p>
  <i>So, you finally came.</i>
</p>
<p>Mathias didn't open his eyes. He didn't need to. He recognized the voice, but he knew it wasn't real. This was why he'd never come before.</p>
<p>
  <i>If you'd stood with us, we could have had justice for the Guild.</i>
</p>
<p>"No," Mathias murmured. "Not with Onyxia manipulating everyone." He opened his eyes into the dim light of the cavern. His imagination supplied the rest; Edwin, still as young as Mathias remembered him. The rogue's hair was raven-black and hung loose, down over his shoulders. His face was covered with that red bandana he'd always worn. It hurt more than he expected. </p>
<p>Edwin hadn't been much taller than Mathias, but he'd always seen the man through eyes that looked on him with affection, even after all that had happened. Baros had called Edwin a romantic, once. </p>
<p>Perhaps he had been. Mathias had never been the focus of it, though. These days, it seemed, Mathias was the romantic, at least when it came to Flynn. The things he'd said to his husband, the things he wanted with him, sometimes it stole his breath and left him dizzy with the sheer intensity of his love.</p>
<p>Edwin's voice scoffed, a harsh huff of breath. Mathias remembered the sound with perfect clarity. <i>Still the king's lapdog, Mattie?</i></p>
<p>The words stung. After Edwin, he'd hated that name. He was grateful that Flynn had never tried to use it. "Stormwind still stands, despite your best effort."</p>
<p><i>Bootlicker,</i> Edwin spat. <i>Did you gloat when they killed me? Was it sufficient punishment for my rejection? Did you really think teaching me your secrets would be enough to make me love you? Pathetic.</i></p>
<p>Mathias flinched at the words. He had. He'd been young and stupid and blinded by misguided desire. "Pathonia was right about you. I should never have taught you what I did." His fault. His error. The darkest stain on his reputation, and one of his deepest scars.</p>
<p><i>With you by my side, we would have been unbeatable. We could have torn the city down, stone by stone, to exact our vengeance for how we were treated. But no, it wouldn't have changed my rejection. You were never what I wanted. You could never have been what I wanted -- a wife, kids. You could never have been that for me. I watched you try to convince yourself that if you'd only tried harder, I'd have come to you. All I wanted from you was this.</i> Edwin's shadow raised one fist, one of the daggers that Mathias had given him held aloft. <i>It was </i>you<i> that nearly destroyed Stormwind. It was </i>you<i> that persuaded the Assassin's Guild to take me in. </i>You<i> trained me. All this blood, it's on your hands, Mattie.</i></p>
<p>Much as Mathias had felt for years that it was true, he was finally coming to see that it wasn't. "I'm just a man, and I fell in love with the wrong person. I made a mistake. I've paid for it more than you'll ever understand." He'd paid for it, and beaten himself for it, for years. Then he'd learned what it really meant to love someone. Someone who loved him in return. Loving Flynn wasn't the agony that loving Edwin had been. Being in love with Flynn was possibly the easiest thing in Mathias's life. But the Edwin in his head didn't recognize that.</p>
<p>
  <i>Oh, and that made her angry, didn't it? Pathonia's perfect, mindless, automaton. You did everything she ever asked of you, except walk away from me. I never saw you argue with her, never saw you try to have so much as an opinion of your own about anything. You were her soulless minion. The only crack in that armor was your misguided desire for me.</i>
</p>
<p>"I did what I had to!" Mathias shouted, the sound of his voice echoing in the cavern, and it shocked him into silence.</p>
<p>It was humiliating, arguing with a ghost that existed only in his own head, and losing.</p>
<p><i>You, the Spymaster of the Alliance,</i> Edwin snarled. <i>The only thing you have is duty. That's all you are. That's all you ever were. It's all you ever will be; the king's lapdog.</i></p>
<p>Mathias shook his head. "You're wrong. That's not all I am, not anymore. A year ago, that might have been true, but things have changed. <i>I've</i> changed. I'm not that young idiot anymore. I'm not blinded by what I felt for you." Anger rose in him, and the knowledge that his life really had become something entirely different, that he'd finally moved past the hopeless infatuation he'd had for Edwin. He had a life now. He had a husband. He had people who had become his family. "You're dead," he said. "You've been dead for years. The Defias was destroyed. Your daughter was brought to heel and works for the Uncrowned now. Your stronghold lies in ruins, and <i>I am not alone anymore.</i>"  He took a harsh breath and turned his back on the image of Edwin in his mind. "You're dead, and I can finally bury you. I don't regret your rejection; it left room for someone better for me than you ever were on your best day."</p>
<p>
  <i>No one was better than me.</i>
</p>
<p>"That's what I used to think. I was wrong about that, too, and that doesn't bother me in the least. After all this time, there's finally someone who loves me, who isn't using me for anything like you did."</p>
<p>
  <i>Don't imagine this is the end of it, Mattie. You have more demons than most. I'm only one of them. I'll be back.</i>
</p>
<p>"If you come back, I won't have to face it alone." He picked up the lantern and walked away.</p>
<p>*** </p>
<p>Flynn found himself a more or less comfortable place to wait as Mathias walked away and turned a corner in the tunnels; he watched as the dim light of his lantern faded away into the darkness. He had no idea how long he'd be there. Mathias had said a couple of hours, at least, so he settled in for a long wait. </p>
<p>He'd put one of his Steamy Romance Novels into a pocket, figuring maybe he'd have some time to read. The lantern light would be about enough to do it by, but he was too restless as yet. He didn't think he'd be able to focus on Marcus's ridiculous erotic adventures here. Truthfully, the only thing that was fixed in his mind was Mathias. He figured his husband would be out of sorts whenever he came out of the depths of the mine.</p>
<p>The silence around him echoed, eerie and more than a bit unnerving. The air smelled of dust and damp stone and a slight tinge of metal. Flynn tried not to think of the metallic scent of blood. He wondered how much had been spilled here over the years. Enough to disturb Mathias; that would take some doing, but he was pretty sure it was the specific blood that had pooled here that made the difference.</p>
<p>It would be sobering, if he had been drinking, the thought that a man who'd hurt Mathias could still have this kind of hold on him so many years later. He hoped that his love would find a little peace here, but he didn't figure it would be as easy as that. The man had been trained to be an assassin from before he could even remember. His entire life had been bent in ways he'd never had a choice about. How a few hours in a mine talking to ghosts would resolve anything was beyond Flynn. </p>
<p>He stared into the gloom for quite a while before he started humming absently to himself. The sound reverberated and echoed; it sounded really nice, to Flynn's surprise. Flynn sang in taverns, and on the decks of ships. He'd never sung in a tunnel or a cave before, and the quality of the sound was new to him. Cautiously, he began actually singing. He kept his voice fairly low. He wasn't sure how far away Mathias was, and didn't want to disturb him, nor draw attention from anyone who might be outside the mines. He put enough volume in it to be able to hear the way the sound rounded out and mellowed with the reverberation of the place. It felt good.</p>
<p>Flynn lost himself for a while in the music, quietly singing shanties and sea songs until his voice started to tire. The singing had calmed him quite a bit and, though he was still concerned about Mathias, he was finally settled enough to read for a while.</p>
<p>He reckoned it had been a couple of hours when the flame of his lantern started guttering. He was kind of surprised it had lasted this long, really. There was no telling how much oil had been in it when they found it. He wondered if Mathias's was still going. Reaching into his pocket, he pulled out one of the candles he'd brought, just in case, and lit it in the dying flame. It wouldn't be enough to read by, but it did mean he'd not have to wait in the pressing gloom. The book went back into his pocket.</p>
<p>Not that long after, he could see a hint of light coming from the direction Mathias had taken when they parted company. Of course he didn't hear anything; his husband was an assassin, he never made a sound when he moved unless he intended to. He watched as the slight hint of light grew larger, relieved as it moved steadily closer.</p>
<p>Finally, Mathias turned the corner and Flynn could see him. The light wasn't good enough to really tell if he was all right, but he moved steadily in the silence of the mine. He eyed Flynn's candle when he got there and Flynn shrugged, slipping an arm around his shoulders. He didn't bother to ask Mathias if he was okay. He'd say he was, regardless, and if he wasn't he would be eventually.</p>
<p>Mathias wrapped an arm around his waist and leaned into him, head resting against Flynn's shoulder. Flynn rested his chin on top of his husband's head, face tilted up a bit, and just held him, letting him lean until he was ready to move on. Mathias's breathing was quiet but slightly ragged for a few moments. He pulled the man a little closer, warm in the chill darkness of the mine.</p>
<p>"Let's go," Mathias murmured, eventually. "I'm done here."</p>
<p>Flynn nodded and let him go. It was a moment before Mathias released him and stepped away. He headed back to the surface and Flynn followed him, watching the stiff line of his shoulders as he moved. By the time they'd made their way up into the building that held the mine's entrance, he had relaxed at least a little. </p>
<p>"We should head for the flightmaster," he said, gesturing toward the center of town.</p>
<p>Flynn nodded. "Stealth it again?"</p>
<p>"At least until we get somewhere that doesn't indicate we just came out of this building." Mathias faded into the shadows, and Flynn followed him, close on his heels. They made their way to a side street and walked back to the gryphon roost, where they flew back to Sentinel Hill.</p>
<p>"Glad to be out of there," Flynn said, once their feet were on the ground again. "Definitely an unfriendly place. I didn't like the way they were looking at you."</p>
<p>"It wasn't just me," he said. "You were in danger there, as well, because we arrived together."</p>
<p>"Do you think they'd have done anything?" It was unfriendly, but Flynn hadn't been sure they'd be attacked. They headed back toward the inn, and their room.</p>
<p>"While most of the Defias are gone, the sentiment remains. I'm the one who gave the order for Vanessa VanCleef's death. Even though she survived  the encounter with the adventurers who went after her, those resentments run deep. If someone had been brave enough to attempt an ambush, others would likely have joined in. It's unlikely we'd have been killed in the attempt, but enough of them, and we'd certainly have been injured. Best to avoid it altogether."</p>
<p>They said little else until they were back in their room, with the door locked behind them. Flynn started a fire in the small hearth as Mathias set his weapons aside, then took off his boots and the armor he'd traveled in. "Did you find what you needed in there?" Flynn asked. He looked over his shoulder as Mathias lay down on the bed with a sigh.</p>
<p>"Until recently, I think that some part of me believed that, despite everything, I'd somehow betrayed him. That I could have changed him." Mathias tucked his hands behind his head and shook it. "Nothing I did could have done that. What happened was set in motion by powers far greater than any I possessed. I could have done better." He looked up at the ceiling. "But I was young and didn't listen when Pathonia tried to warn me. I made a mistake, training him, but no one could have predicted his treason, or Onyxia. She'd have found some other tool for her purposes if she hadn't used Edwin."</p>
<p>"Do you still blame yourself for all that?" Once the fire was going, Flynn brushed off his hands and sat on the bed next to his husband. "For everything you couldn't control?"</p>
<p>"Less than before, I think. The things he said to me the last time we spoke…" Mathias sighed. He looked back at Flynn. "He used me. I did everything I could to make up for my error in judgment."</p>
<p>"Seems to me you have done. Himself wouldn't trust you if he didn't think you were worthy of it, love." Flynn rested his palm on Mathias's chest.</p>
<p>"I always thought that after Edwin, after everything that happened, I'd spend my life alone. That I deserved to. Ultimately, I think that if I had, he'd have won. I could have ended my days bitter and miserable, but I don't have to now. I have you." Mathias rested his hand over Flynn's. "You are…" he hesitated, his breath catching, "...worth everything I've been through. To be here, with you…" He brought Flynn's hand to his lips and kissed it, then rested it over his heart, his own still covering it. "I don't know how I got so lucky."</p>
<p>Flynn's heart seized with the depth of the love he felt for the man. He didn't bother kicking off his boots; he lay next to Mathias and rested his head on his chest. "I'm the one who's lucky," he murmured. Mathias's arm wrapped around him and held him close. "Or we can just figure both of us won this roll of the dice."</p>
<p>He felt Mathias nod, his chin in Flynn's hair. "That works for me."</p>
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